Hey kids, the big day’s here. It’s 10/10/10 and that if you’ve been following the campaign of Franny Armstrong, Richard Curtis, Eugenie and all their other nicely-spoken, privately-educated, Daddy-funded, Guardian-reading trustafarian chums at 10:10, you’ll know that means just one thing: Climate Action.
So what are you going to do today? Here are a few suggestions, inspired Richard Curtis’s campaign video which has proved so successful
that at least 20,000 10:10
signatories were inspired to resign. Well done Richard!
1. Encourage Daddy to convert his Aston-Martin or Kenneth-Noye style Range Rover to biofuels, like the Prince of Wales has. Biofuels are great for the environment because they lead to higher food prices and starvation in the Third World. And the more people who starve to death in the Third World the better it is for nature. Because remember, overpopulation is the real problem.
2. Kill a climate denier, any denier – they’re all the same and their Exxon-funded attempts to deny the overwhelming scientific consensus on global warming makes them fit only for one thing. Death. Just like Richard Curtis showed us on his video. And he should know: he wrote Love, Actually.
3. Build a wind turbine in your garden. Never mind the neighbours. Don’t worry about planning permission – Uncle Chris Huhne will make sure any local objections are brutally overridden. It’s a win win situation. Not only do you get to show how serious you are about your environmentalism – never mind the birds you kill or the views you spoil: the Environment is abut much more than wildlife or aesthetics – but you get paid for by the taxpayer for all the pretend comedy electricity you “generate”.
4. Write an inarticulate comment below a blog like this one. Perhaps you can refer readers to the experts at Realclimate – the unbiased information website run by friends of the distinguished, world-renowned inventor of the marvellous Hockey Stick, Michael Mann. Perhaps you could do you bit for the climate wars by reporting every remark that you disagree with to the moderators. Remember, this battle isn’t about facts. It’s about making sure everyone knows how evil and wrong climate change deniers are. Worthy of death in fact.
5. Hug a polar bear. Go to the arctic circle right now, creep up to the nearest polar bear and hug one. Try it. They’re not at all violent. The best ones to go for are the babies, when their mother is nearby. You can tell by how white and innocent and fluffy they look.
Happy 10/10/10 everybody!