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While analyzing the federal government’s latest long-winded publication, ‘Climate Action Report, the Fifth National Communication of the United States of America Under the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change’ I stumbled across something buried deep inside that will dismay (or perhaps amuse) many taxpayers.

In the section entitled, ‘Proposed Regulation Facilitating Geologic Sequestration of CO2’ the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has pulled out all the stops to make an even bigger ass of itself. It is introducing a new requirement under the Safe Drinking Water Act to protect U.S. citizens from being ‘poisoned’ from carbon dioxide in drinking water.

The latest cock-eyed federal policy concerns “a new class of injection well—Class VI” (page 44) that at great expense will inject carbon dioxide (CO2) underground by a process that will inhibit drinking water from becoming as carbonated as fizzy Perrier water. The greenies call this process ‘carbon sequestration,’ in case you didn’t know.

A somnolent U.S. administration has completely swallowed the Mickey Finn plied to it by politicized environmentalists so that taxpayers pockets are legally being picked to the tune of tens of billions. All this is due to the encroaching acceptance by certain world political leaders of the unproven hypothesis that human emissions of greenhouse gases, such as CO2, are ‘bad’ for our planet.
Doped up on their great green Mickey, President Obama’s government has opened the financial floodgates and money is fast pouring into various sequestration projects. The “Class VI” system is intended to pump industrially produced carbon emissions deep into the Earth. Here, they believe, it will be ‘less harmful.’ Nonetheless, due to natural forces, it will still eventually seep into the water supply with the passage of time. Nationally, taxpayer funded investment into such ‘green’ schemes is currently overflowing at about $18.6 billion.

The difference here from any offshore oil disaster is when (not if) the underground water supply does eventually become ‘contaminated’ by the sequestered CO2, then the government will have inadvertently created a benefit not a catastrophe: America’s home grown version of France’s famous tipple.

But by their failure to apply any joined up thinking on the issue, the typically profligate EPA will not see the economic benefits from the inadvertent spiking of our tap water. To do so would effectively pull the plug on the whole 'CO2 is poison' scam.

The weird and amoral world of eco-politics would rather taxpayers stay blissfully ignorant about how benign CO2 really is. Marketed for generations in its iconic pear-shaped little green bottle, Perrier has been regarded as a 'chic' and aspirational non-alcoholic beverage among Europe’s middle classes. In fact this ‘Champagne’ of mineral water costs more per barrel than the finest grade gasoline oil.

In Perrier’s manufacturing process the water and CO2 are sourced independently before being mixed in the bottling process. This ensures the gas added in bottled Perrier gives the same fizz as the water from the original source, the Vergèze spring in the Languedoc region of southern France.

Disavowing itself of saner opinion on the matter, the EPA has determined that the ingredient that makes the water’s fizz-that nasty carbon dioxide-is nothing short of an environmental ‘poison.’ But have you ever heard of anyone being poisoned by Perrier?

But if the U.S. government was serious about generating ‘green’ jobs then they have missed a trick by not turning these new ‘Class VI super injectors’ into money-making machines. Any forward-looking government mindful of green economic opportunities should be planning to export America’s very own ‘champagne’ to nations that won’t view it as poison.

Footnote: from 1981 to 2005, the French Perrier company sponsored an annual comedy award in Britain known as "The Perriers.” The EPA would surely scoop their own “Perrier” with this latest joke perpetrated on the American people. Will the EPA yet dig itself an even deeper hole in this climate change fiasco?

Short bio: John O’Sullivan is a legal analyst and writer who for several years has litigated in government corruption and conspiracy cases in both the US and Britain. Visit his Website: http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/johnosullivan