Tonight at 8pm I’m going to be on
BBC Radio 4’s Any Questions. I welcome all the support you can give me but don’t get your hopes up: I can pretty much guarantee I’m going to be rubbish – as I have been on the four or five previous occasions I’ve submitted to this ordeal.
Why am I so rubbish on Any Questions? Well one reason, obviously, is that I’m not a sufficiently experienced or quick-witted broadcaster. I’m not as silvery and slippery and avuncular a politician as my fellow panelist Tony Benn, nor yet as loveable a wag as my second fellow panelist John Sergeant, nor yet as straight-down-the-line bright, informed and likeable as my third fellow panelist Ruth Lea.
So, yes, I’m rubbish – I fully acknowledge that. But I don’t think my rubbishness is the only – or indeed the main reason why I always seem to come across so badly on Any Questions. If it were, then I would also be rubbish when I do US talk radio or shows like Glen Beck and Fox & Friends and, without wishing to blow my own trumpet, I’m not. On US shows I come across as likeable, self-deprecating, witty, informed, honest, funny. I can even come across that way on British TV productions, such as the oft-repeated Channel 4 documentary When Boris Met Dave.
What is it, then about Any Questions that brings out the worst in me?
Well, in three letters: BBC.